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The Spouse Factor: 5 Tips To Overcome A Non-Supportive SpouseJason thought that he was supporting his wife, Julie, when she decided that she wanted to lose 75lbs. He was being “helpful” by calling her attention every time she went for “seconds” at the dinner table. He would say things like… Is that your second biscuit? or “I don’t know if eating 2 of those is helping you lose weight”.
Jason was for sure he was helping her by pointing out those areas of improvement.Little did he realize that his “counseling” actually just badgered her. She even built up resentment towards him, putting a wedge into their marriage.
Jason, being the smart guy that he is, saw the error of his ways and was able to successfully make himself an asset to Julie instead of an obstacle. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?
Spousal/Significant Other support is one of the most important aspects to a successful weight loss program. Most spouses try to be helpful when their significant other is trying to lose weight, but they go about it all the wrong ways. Usually it’s by pointing out the stuff the dieter is doing wrong.
In other cases, they may be purposely sabotaging the dieter because of their own insecurities such as: “They will leave me when they are skinny and beautiful and I still look like this” Or the fact that they can’t quit their smoking problem, but “she” was able to lose 75lbs.
Unfortunately, “Misery loves company” is a true saying even in relationships.
So what can we do to overcome a non-supportive spouse? Follow these powerful tips:Make sure that you want to lose weight for yourself and not because “they” want you to. It will never happen unless you can do it for yourself.
Spouses like to play food cop in the name of “your best interests”. This is a giant no-no. If you’ve ever been in this situation before, you know that it doesn’t work. It actually seems to ignite the rebel inside us and the opposite happens. For example: “Haven’t you eaten enough rolls for dinner?” or, “Don’t forget to workout today” etc. Food Cops are obsessive, overbearing and can tyrannize you.
Sit down and have a heart to heart if your spouse acts like this. If you catch yourself “cheating” alot the best solution is to remove all unhealthy snacks from the kitchen.
There might be a deeper issue with your relationship: Talk with him/her first about your struggles. Open communication is always the best solution. If they won’t listen, then seek couseling, a doctor, etc. Someone who can help your relationship. This could be the primary reason why you gained the weight in the first place…
Seek support from family, friends, weight loss forums online, or groups. Support is crucial to your success.
Do daily affirmations telling yourself how beautiful you are and how you can accomplish your goal. An example would be:
I choose to lose 15 lbs
I am beautiful inside and out
Even though I am 20lbs overweight, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
Every Day in every way I’m getting thinner and thinner
I am in control of my health
You get the point It is crucial for you to believe in yourself that you can do anything… because you can. Affirmations reprogram your subconscious mind and retrain it to have a positive thought pattern instead of the negative one from beating yourself down mentally or being beaten down mentally (Whether your spouse knows that they are doing it or not).